Destroyer of Cream
by newportz-princess
Summary: You break, it you buy it. Company policy. Ryan really didn’t have time for this, why the hell would he want to pay for a bottle of moldy cream that he knocked over? Honestly…


Disclaimer: Do you honestly think that it's mine

**Disclaimer: Do you honestly think that it's mine? How would I come up with an entire TV show, when all I can seem to do is create fics with a jerk-ish Ryan? LOL. The OC belongs to Josh Schwartz.**

**Summary: You break, it you buy it. Company policy. Ryan really didn't have time for this, why the hell would he want to purchase a bottle of mouldy cream that he knocked over? Honestly…**

**This random idea bugged me when I was in a shop today and a woman dropped a bottle of coke and it fizzed everywhere. LOL. I don't tell you who he's with, so that's up to you, whether you're an RT or an RM shipper it's up to you. ;)**

Ryan Atwood was content as he wandered the isles of his local grocery store. All he needed was milk and strawberries. It wasn't all that hard of a task. If one thing Ryan had learnt in his time, was that wifely orders were made to be obeyed, and no other rules applied. He intended the dog to be the one in the doghouse and hopefully not the other way around.

So milk and strawberries huh? Ryan went for the strawberries first and found a few reasonably ripe ones. Taking a deep breath, he then made his way to the correct isle that was home to all things dairy. Ryan spotted a well-priced carton of milk and picked it up.

Proud of himself for accomplishing the finding of the two items needed, Ryan let a small smile play on his features.

In that instant he was off guard, Ryan bumped into a bread tasting stand. Why people would taste test bread as big as a bottle top he did not know, but now wasn't the time to think about that. Failing to notice he'd knocked over several bottles of cream, he stepped right into a puddle of the cold substance and slipped over, sending his strawberries flying.

"Oh my god!" a woman yelled. Pretty soon an army of store workers were gathered around and trying desperately to control the flowing fountain of cream.

Ryan gained his bearings and carefully came to his feet. A little kid laughing his ass off at Ryan did not help the shade of red painting his face.

Soon enough the kid slipped in the cream also and Ryan snickered quietly to himself. _Served him right_.

"Sir, are you okay?" someone asked Ryan.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Too bad I can't say the same for the impressive amount of cream that's decorating the floors of this joint," Ryan replied, slightly amused, no less embarrassed.

"Alright, seeing as how you're all good, would you mind helping with the cleaning up?"

Ryan raised his eyebrows. "Are you serious? I mean, you're kidding right?"

"No sir, I'm afraid not. You'll have to pay for the damage too."

"Uh, what damage? That ancient plastic thing over there?" Ryan asked, pointing to a mildly retarded looking holder for some sort of product.

"Yes sir, and the severe amount of cream we lost today," the man replied like his grandma had just died.

"The severe amount of cream you lost? What the hell? Half of them are passed their used-by-date anyway, I mean look at that one." Ryan gestured to a slight green tinge in the color of one of the cream puddles.

"That aside, you destroyed hundreds of dollars worth of dairy produce here sir. It's against the law."

"What freakin' law is this? Did you take it from the friendly farmers association or something just as dim witted?"

"Sir, please, sir, calm down, there is no need to get abusive. I am just doing my job."

"Well, here I am, trying to buy strawberries and milk for my wife, who's baking something I have never heard of. I was about to reach a check out, but was tripped up by the stand of minuscule sized bread that no one gives a crap about tasting, my strawberries have gone M.I.A. and the milk has been taken from my belonging from god knows who, I broke a huge thing that held about a thousand bottles of mouldy cream on it and I am now covered in the stuff, and here you are - a middle aged Israeli man, who couldn't find a normal job – telling me I have to pay for the so called hundreds of dollars worth of cream that I only bumped into by accident. So no. I refuse to pay for a simple accident like this. I am not the one abusing you, you are abusing me with this bullshit," ranted Ryan.

"Security!" the man yelled.

"Oh come on!" Ryan exclaimed. "Unbelievable…"

"What seems to be the problem here?" security asked.

"This guy is trying to make me pay for the cream I spilled. Apparently it's some big paying industry and I owe him for it," Ryan said.

"Is this true?" he asked the worker. The Israeli store man didn't reply so Ryan continued, "And he also told me that it was against some dick-ass law to do this."

"You break it, you buy it. It's company policy and you clearly totalled more than a couple bottles of cream," the security guard told Ryan.

"Oh my god," Ryan breathed in a state of distress.

"Okay man, how about you pay for half of the costs to replace the cream," the security guard negotiated with Ryan.

"Replace the cream? You want me to help pay to replace cream? You're a supermarket for crying out loud. Don't you guys have like a never ending supply of stock coming in?"

"Stop arguing, or this could get very ugly," the Israeli man randomly said.

"Senal? Why don't you go stack some toilet paper?" the security guard said.

"Okay…"

"Have we got a deal man?" the security guy asked Ryan.

Ryan was not in the mood to fight. He needed to get home pronto and shower. He smelt like, er…I don't know, but something incredibly foul and something that would definitely not strike attraction with the Mrs. "Fine, sure," Ryan agreed finally.

"If you could leave your details with me and we'll give you a call tomorrow. Now you do know you cannot leave the country, because we will track you down and you will pay 100 percent of the cream costs."

"Yes, because I am going to flee and live in hiding. I can't have _destroyer of cream _on my record," Ryan said sarcastically.

"If my wife didn't make me get botox, you'd see I am smirking in amusement right now," the security guard said…seriously.

"Uh…right," Ryan nodded.

"Get your items and go through a check out. You need get home and bathe immediately," the security guy said before walking away.

"Right," Ryan said to himself. He chose a new carton of milk and tracked down some good strawberries and left as quickly as he could.

At least now, he had a good grocery store story to tell…

**Fin.**

**I know it was silly an pointless, but I do love the pointless fics and coke spritzing lady at that shop today amused me enough to gain inspiration from it. I'd love, love, love a review. Thanks for reading.**


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